Chongsong

Chongsong, NAS, 40 %

So, a “whisky” from North Korea. Huh!? Well, is it whisky? Not in the sense that we define whisky. It is made from mushrooms, apparently. From the color it has not been aged for very long, but I might be mistaken.

This “product” was procured in the Joint Security Ara (JSA), in the demilitarized zone between North Korea and South Korea. It was there sold as “whisky”.

Nose: Nail polish remover! Confirmed in 2 seconds flat by my wife. Do I need to taste this? I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to drink nail-polish remover. Not because it is illegal, more because it’s a pro-Darwin move, if you catch my drift. Hmm, let me sniff a bit more, right? All right? OK then. Chemical, chemical, chemical. Surely this is covered by the Chemical Weapons Convention of '93. Hmm. Candy store then. Not the charming old-school candy store from the happy '70s that I so fondly remember. No, this is a neon bright, toxic level, overly sweet and borderline suicidal, chronic heart attack and properly bad kind of candy store. The kind of store all sane parents, grandparents and great grandparents (dead or alive) sternly and vehemently warn their kids / grandkids / great grandkids from ever entering! This “whisky” has a heavy “Klaatu barada nikto” vibe about it. Shivers literally run down my spine.

Taste: It has body, but it is dead. Artificial sweetness serves as the proverbial lipstick on the pig here, with the same futile result. If anything it just makes it worse. This is nauseating. Picture yourself, your young self, binging on SweeTarts or some similar candy - really overeating, then forcing another four or five packs down your greedy throat. Then you start projectile vomiting. Imagine the taste of what you just exorcised - this is worse! With time I also pick up earthy notes - probably the mushrooms kicking in. The added earthy funkiness does nothing to improve the taste - it simply brings to mind graverobbers on a dark and stormy night.

Finish: Please finish this! Any finish here is a violation! Sadly it does have a finish, and it is vile. This is rotting meat nasty. The stale sweat off of Kim Jong Uns unwashed backside would be a heavenly nectar compared to this.

Comment: Please, just say no!

Score 51/100

Massive thanks (and a couple of minor curses) to Terje M.

Sláinte!
-Thomas